One of those fucking awful black days when nothing is pleasing and everything that happens is an excuse for anger. An outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armor. These are the days when I hate the world. Hate the rich, hate the happy, hate the complacent, the tv watchers, beer drinkers, the satisfied ones. Because I know I can be all those little hateful things and then I hate myself for realizing that. There is no preventative, directive, or safe approach for living. We each know our own faith, we know from our youth how to be treated and how we'll be received and how we shall end. These things don't change. You can change your clothes, change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents,
but sooner or later your old self will always catch up, always it waits in the wings.
(Ideas swirl but don't stick. They appear but then run off like rain on the windshield.)
One of those rainy days car rides my head imploded the atmosphere in this car a mirror of my skull, wet, damp, windows dripping and misted with cold, walls of gray, nothing good on the radio, not a thought in my head.
I know a place we can go where you'll fall in love so hard that you'll wish you were dead
Let's take life and slow it down incredibly slow, frame by frame, like two minutes that take ten years to live out. Yeah, let's do that. Telephone poles like praying mantis against the sky, metal arms outstretched, so much land traveled, so little sense made of it. It doesn't mean a thing all this land laying out behind us. I'd like to take off into these woods and get good and lost for a while. I'm disgusted with petty concerns, parking tickets, breakfast specials. Does someone just have to carry this weight? Abstract topography, methane covenant, linear gospel, ashville saleslady, stagian emmisary, torturous lice, mad Elizabeth.
(keep a better peoples)
The light within me shines like a diamond mine, like an unarmed walrus, like a dead man face down on the highway, like a snake eating its own tail. A steam turbine, frog pond, too-full closet burst open in disarray, soap bubbles in the sun, hospital deathbed, red convertible, shopping list, blow job, death's head, devils dancing, bleached white buildings, memory movements. The movie unpeeling, unreeling, about to begin.